The Birds And The Bees
by Luxarya
Summary: Yang and Blake whoop Team CRDL's butt in a training session and gain some unlikely admirers. Traditional threats don't seem to work so naturally they decide to follow their (perilously close to former) friends' advice to prove they're not interested. And off the market.
1. Chapter 1

_Yang and Blake whoop CRDL's butt in a training session and gain some unlikely admirers, prompting them to do what any sane and rational person would do in this situation- pretend to date!_

 _In the words of past me: I still can't believe this turned into a fake dating AU._

Chapter 1

Weiss still didn't think there was anything wrong with the solution, it was working right?

Blake would rather that they pick a different strategy of dealing with it- why did they listen to Weiss again?

Yang just wishes her sister and Weiss were a little bit less meddlesome when it came to her love life- especially when it involved her own, _very attractive_ , partner.

And Ruby? Had Ruby known _exactly_ what was going to happen when she suggested Blake and Yang fo match against CRDL- _well_ …

She probably wouldn't have changed a thing. It would all turn out alright in the end.

She hoped.

 _The Beginning of it All- Glynda's Sparring Class_

"C'mon sis! Kick their butts!" Ruby paused for a moment, as if remembering she should probably cheer on her other teammate too, "You too Blake- show 'em who's boss!"

Blake turned to her team leader in the stands shouting down at them and gave a sarcastic wave of thanks, catching Weiss rolling her eyes at her hyperactive partner before shouting down her own words of encouragement.

"Remember their weaknesses- we went over this you two, don't screw it up." Okay so it might have been the Schnee brand of encouragement but at least she was trying. It was certainly an improvement on past attempts- clearly positive reinforcement was _not_ a thing in the chilly halls of Schnee manor. Blake's smile turned genuine as she acknowledged her friends.

"Thanks Ruby. And Weiss, _I suppose_."

Beside her Yang was limbering up, deploying and collapsing Ember Celica to check for issues with her weapon. Judging by her double fist pump, the final deploying of the gauntlets, and her smile widening as she noticed she was being watched, there were no issues with her precious weapons. Blake gave her own weapons a customary once over, not that Gambol Shroud was ever going to be ill maintained- having Ruby "Weapon Nut" Rose as your team leader meant that weapon maintenance was a mandatory, twice a week team activity. Still, she smoothly cycled her weapon through its forms before resheathing it- starting with her weapon sheathed was an unsettling reminder of Adam but it was habit at this point- a habit that had served her well. She was brought out of her thoughts by a light hip bump courtesy of Yang, who was grinning in anticipation of the fight.

"Ready to kick some racist ass, _Belladonna_?" Her partner's enthusiasm was infectious as Blake found herself smirking back while raising her own hand for a high five.

"I think you'll find I'm always ready, _Xiao Long_."

Yang slapped her hand before stepping back smirking appraisingly, catching Blake off guard.

"Seems like I am finally rubbing off on you Blake."

Blake's eyes widened, not at her partner's words, but at the slightly flirty tone she'd said them with. Shrugging it off as just Yang being _Yang_ she was distracted from lingering on it by Glynda's call for both teams to ready and turned to face her teacher, consequently missing her partner's double face palm and muffled self-chastisements.

On the opposite side of the area stood CRDL- not Blake's favourite people by a long shot. They were irritating and short tempered on a normal day and today they were bristling at the injustice of- _once again_ \- being picked to be the testing team against fewer numbers.

"I can't believe we have to fight the bimbo and the emo."

So, Dove _could_ speak, Blake had been wondering about that. It had been a real possibility for a while that he'd managed to get into Beacon solely relying on hand signals and grunts, but apparently, he wasn't a mute. And he never even went for the easy Faunus joke; he _must_ be scared. Or already working on pre-fight damage limitation- maybe he assumed that by _not_ reminding the two of them that they were racists they would have a better chance of getting out of this not seriously maimed. Blake smiled slightly; Team RWBY remembered _exactly_ how CRDL had reacted to the reveal of her heritage and they were not going to forget it any time soon.

Of course, it was Dove's leader who tended to do most of the talking, so she could be forgiven for the assumption of his muteness, and once again Cardin did not disappoint when he opened his stupid mouth.

"Is the princess to scared to get her hands dirty? Not ready to take on _real men_? What about your leader- fell off her bike once the training wheels came off?"

 _Ah Cardin- with wit like that who needed sleeping pills?_

Their taunts failed to have any effect on their targets as Yang just laughed them off and put Blake's thoughts into words.

"Wow Cardin, been thinking those up for a while now? I hope you didn't strain your brain too much, we can't have your IQ dropping into negative numbers.

Blake let out a slightly undignified snort at that one, drawing Yang's blinding grin her way, it was her turn to throw the boys off their game- what was the point of a good fight if you couldn't get a bit of a dig in there?

"Ruby felt it would be unfair to have the whole team fight- besides they got all their training done wrestling Zwei into his bath last night, really tired them out y'know? They thought any fight against you guys was going to be less… how did they put it Yang?"

"Less exhausting? Straining? Testing? …Worth their time?" Yang popped in, ticking her suggestions off her fingers as she spoke. Blake turned back to their fuming opponent with an uncharacteristically cheery smile, infuriating them even more.

"Right. Any of those will do. Take your pick or come up with more; we certainly did."

Glynda chose that moment to stride up, cutting off whatever poor imitations of a comeback CRDL could have hoped to respond with- it was a mercy really, and Blake had a sneaking suspicion that Glynda was looking forward to this fight more than usual. Of course, it was only a hunch- fuelled and fanned by the almost constant smirk that appeared on the professor's face whenever she mentioned CRDL's name.

 _Yes, just a suspicion._

"Alright teams, remember that the aim of this combat exercise is twofold: CRDL- remember you are a team and you should work together like a team. Miss Belladonna, Miss Xiao Long: this exercise is a test of your abilities against more numerous and more armoured foes." _Not necessarily smarter though_ , but Blake and Yang both nodded at their teacher's stern words, both their grins being replaced with more serious looks as they prepared themselves for the fight.

"This match will last until one team is completely knocked out. Remember that once some's aura has fallen below the limit they are _out_ ," she punctuated this with a stern glare at both teams, "and they are not to be attacked."

CRDL once again plastered smirks across their stupid, dumb faces, _urgh so predictable_. Blake flicked her eyes to her partner who was crouching in her starting position, ready to launch forward and blindside them while she flanked them.

"3."

Yang grinned.

"2."

Dove and Lark began to look worried.

"1."

Blake grabbed the hilt of Gambol Shroud.

"Begin."

 _The Stands- Glynda's Sparring Class_

"This is gonna be _awesome_!"

There wasn't much that could excite Ruby Rose as much as watching people spar. Well, apart from getting into fights herself and maybe cookies. Weiss rolled her eyes and looked back at the ring, hoping that: _one_ , Yang would remember her advice and _two_ , she would actually use it. Blake was the more strategically minded one of the partnership but whether she could reign in the blonde was a different fight entirely.

It was common knowledge that one of the only people on campus more easily angered than Yang was Cardin- a fact that Blake and Yang were 100% ready to take advantage of. Hopefully. Once he was angry he made mistakes- going so far as to take out one of his team members when CRDL fought Pyrrha. Team knockouts were exactly the thing Blake was supposed to be goading him into with her shadow clones and having fought against them herself Weiss knew how frustrating the Faunus' incredible mobility could be. An easy way to get in his head.

While Cardin was easily the strongest person on Team CRDL, the fastest was definitely Russell- who was also probably the most strategically minded on the team. However, in hand to hand combat Yang dominated the competition, a couple of solid punches should get him on the back foot and hopefully take him out of the running- factoring in a couple of blows from Cardin's mace to charge up her semblance before finishing him off.

And last and most definitely least, Dove and Sky, who may be in the running for the most useless Hunters in Beacon considering their general incompetence and terrible weapon choices. Weiss was honestly considering buying them new weapons just to shut up Ruby's complaining- she had taken their basic and, shock horror, _non-transforming_ weapons as a personal slight.

Actually, Dove and Sky hadn't really been factored into the plan that much, Ruby had just assumed that Blake or Yang, or maybe even Cardin, would take them out at some point throughout the match. A pretty safe bet.

"Begin."

Immediately Yang boosted straight off to scatter CRDL from their position; being aggressive and ending the match as fast as possible was the best option for winning- dragging the match out would only let the greater numbers win by attrition. As expected the boys split, Cardin and Dove dodging left while Russell and Sky leapt to right, the latter losing his footing and falling to the ground.

Yang chose to follow to the right.

Sending off a blind shot at the boy on the ground to keep him down for longer, the blonde turned to the dual wielding opponent next to her, who had recovered from the initial shock much better than Sky and was now on the attack. Yang easily dodged the first swing of his knife and sunk her fist into his stomach as he passed- knocking the wind out of him and taking a chunk out of his aura, while throwing him to the ground for a moment of respite that was quickly ruined by Sky lunging at her with his polearm. A quick shot from her gauntlets allowed her to leap backwards to plan her next attack while also getting herself out of range of the long weapon. Sky, in a rare moment of intelligence, continued to press the attack as he forced Yang backwards but his offensive only lasted until she grabbed the polearm and gave a tug bringing him into her range.

On the other side of the training ring Blake took on the other members of CRDL, deftly weaving in and out of the flailing boys, slicing with both parts of her weapon while she summoned clone after clone to launch off and distract her opponents. Cardin was already getting angry and poor Dove was getting the brunt of it- the close quarters nature of his sword and his slow reactions left him well acquainted with the business end of his leader's mace. Eventually he managed to stumble out of the fray, ending up somewhere between the two fights trying to get his bearings.

While her tactic was working, Weiss could see Blake's approach wasn't going anywhere fast and clearly, she could as well. A sneaky foot sent Cardin sprawling and allowed her a quick look around, formulating a plan in her head as she gave a shout of "Yang!" throwing Gambol Shroud at her partner, "Trip!". The blonde's head flicked from the weapon being launched towards her to Sky standing next to her and then to a stunned Dove tripping backwards in the middle of everything and made her decision. She ran towards Dove.

As she ran, Gambol Shroud flew past her and wrapped itself around Sky's waist, his eyes widening comically as he realised what was happening. The line went taught as Yang reached Dove, who only had a moment to try and understand the situation before a golden gauntlet smashed into his face, knocking him out cold as he flew towards the wall.

 _*Bzzt*_

The ribbon of Blake's weapon caught on Dove's body and swung Sky towards Yang, the arc of his swing bringing him neatly in range of spectacular clothesline as she stuck her arm out to catch him, interrupting his unexpected backflip with a shotgauntlet powered punch to send him face first to the ground.

 _*Bzzt*_

"Dove Bronzewing and Sky Lark are both eliminated." Glynda's amusement was well suppressed, but Weiss could pick out the hint of a chuckle from her instructor- _it seems like the referee might not be completely unbiased._

Quickly unwrapping the ribbon from her groaning opponent on the ground, Yang jogged over to her partner to group up. Even sitting in the stands Weiss could hear the terrible joke she inflicted on Blake and consequently the rest of them.

"Do you think Dove enjoyed his _trip_?"

Ruby booed while Blake looked amused.

"I'm sure we can get a review and rating for the _Yang Express_ after we finish up the rest of his team."

Ruby booed louder.

Blake and Yang ignored her.

"You want to take Russell?" Yang stuck her thumb at the boy who was breathing heavily as he clutched his stomach, "I could use a little boost and I think that mace is the perfect pick me up."

"I'll never get over how weird your semblance is," Blake looked over her shoulder at Cardin, who was now running towards them with a very unpleasant look on his face, and blanched, "Of course I'll take Russell. Have fun with Cardin."

Both girls took to their new opponents with relish, as double daggers clashed with sword and sheath and mace was deflected by gauntlets. Each fight was now between similar weapons, making it a matter of pride who won. Yang and Cardin's match was a no holds beatdown as they traded blows and shots that went straight for each other's weak spots, each one chipping at way at the other's aura. However, it was Russell that went down first, unable to counter Blake using Gambol Shroud to keep him at a distance before closing the distance for an aura shattering blow from her two weapons.

 _*Bzzt*_

"Russell Thrush has been eliminated."

The buzzer distracted Cardin, allowing Yang to roll out and get close to Blake for the final fight.

Cardin seemed confused as he looked around, apparently unaware that the rest of his team had been knocked out. He was the only one left- his team lay scattered about the training hall cradling their aching injuries- and now Weiss could see the black and yellow pair look at each other deciding exactly how to finish this. Yang's crude hand signal indicated _exactly_ what one she wanted and it seemed like Blake was excited to try out the move on a live subject- judging by her grin anyway. Ruby caught on to what they were doing immediately.

"Ohmigosh they're setting up for ' _Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee_ '!" Weiss couldn't stop her reflexive eye roll at her partner.

"You do realise that the only thing dumber than team attack names is excessively long team attack names? Never even minding you getting excited over them."

Ruby narrowed her eyes at her partner, " _Dumb,_ says the girl that got excited over her new ' _E-Z glide handwriting pen_ ' when _literally_ every pen is the same." Weiss recoiled like she had been slapped across her face.

"Ruby Rose take that back right now! That is completely incorrect! Everyone knows-"

Pyrrha leant over to the pair, interrupting their argument, "Maybe you two want to leave the argument till later and focus on the move that I _know_ they have been trying to get right for weeks?"

The pair blushed and turned their attention back to the rest of their teammates down in the ring, circling their last opponent. The key to this move was disorienting the target until they had no idea where the next hit was going to come from, in this case achieved by Blake and her shadows. She ran in, flipping around the slow mace wielder, once again avoiding his cumbersome swings while Yang stood back, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

Then Blake left a shadow right in front of Yang before flipping backwards over her partner's head, giving the perfect setup for her to go crashing through the shadow clone, taking Cardin by complete surprise- having expected another slice from Blake's sword rather than the explosive fist courtesy of her fiery partner. He had no chance of staying up after that.

 _*Bzzt*_

"Cardin Winchester had been eliminated."

Glynda emerged from the shadows where she had been standing for the duration of the match, lightly smiling at the black and yellow pair, a pair that were celebrating their win with their usual exuberance- well, Yang's usual exuberance, Blake simply smirked gleefully at the audience of their smackdown victory.

"With a total knockout, Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long win the match- excellent team work you two, I don't think I've seen to partners as in-sync as you in a long time, although," Glynda regarded the victorious duo over her glasses, "Your impromptu chat in the middle of the fight could have been dropped."

Yang's smile fell as she pouted at the stern professor, "Aw, c'mon Professor, we were clearly discussing the strategy going forward- puns don't discount the fact that I told her I would go punch Cardin and that she should probably take out Russell," she locked her fingers together, "Synergy."

Naturally Glynda looked to the calmer of the duo but sadly it seemed that Blake was in one of her " _Be A Bit Of A Shit Moods"_ , as Weiss had decided to name them after the fourth incident where the Faunus' facetious remarks had wound them up in detention/almost jail/actual jail. Despite Blake's arguments otherwise, while she didn't start things, she tended to just escalate situations because she, _ironically and of course meant in a completely not racist way_ , couldn't hold her tongue.

" _Of course_ it was a strategy meeting Professor- any witty banter exchanged was solely because we are just too hilarious to contain it for a full-" she checked the time- "five minutes."

At that, the professor cracked a smile. A smile that dropped quickly when one of CRDL groaned from his position on the floor- reminding her of the shambolic (in Wess' opinion anyway) performance of the losing team. She turned to berate them for their complete lack of team coordination, spatial awareness and general strategic planning. It was almost as entertaining as the match itself, lasted almost the same length too, until it was cut off by bell signalling the end of the class.

The victorious Team RWBY left the gym for lunch, high on wiping the floor with the annoyances of CRDL in the second best beatdown of sparring class; Ruby in the lead dissecting the match like any good strategist, Weiss berating her partner for focussing too much on the "cool moves" and Blake and Yang strolling along content behind the bickering pair. A completely normal post-match situation then.

They were, however, completely oblivious to the unintended consequences of their fight, consequences that would become apparent very, _very_ soon.


	2. Chapter 2

_The calm before the realisation. And a wee bit of trash talk._

 _Lunch, After Sparring Class_

Even after she'd spent a year and a half at Beacon, Yang couldn't resist any time in the spotlight.

Sure, she'd gotten better at staying low key with the help of her teammates but being on one of the teams constantly jostling for the top spot in the year was a nice ego boost. And it wasn't like she was the only one- pretty much every Huntsman or Huntress had _some_ sort of pride thing going on and it was important to remind everyone else what team was on top and what team was on the bottom. Teams like CRDL for instance. However, even with such a ( _Smackdown? Downright embarrassing?_ ) ... dominant... victory there were still details to analyse and improvements to note for the future, so here Yang sat, listening in to the scarily competent Teams RWBY and JNPR discuss her fight.

If their jobs weren't so important someone should have been seriously worried about how much eight teenagers knew about incapacitating opponents. With _and_ without weapons.

Nora had some creative uses for household items; Blake's speciality was _far too personal_ ; Weiss straight up just bribed people; Ruby was a little bit too into weapons; Ren was a just a ninja; Pyrrha could kill everyone here with a tea spoon and, of course, Yang herself was no stranger to getting her hands dirty. Jaune was Jaune, she supposed- although she had to give him credit for his improvements over his time at Beacon.

Deciding that she'd heard enough about how Dove looked when Cardin's mace hit him for the fourth time, she stretched her arms out above her and let out an exaggerated breath.

"Pfft, even Glynda knew we were gonna win- highlight of her week, one hundred percent guaranteed."

There were no arguments to counter that statement, the deputy Headmistress was usually as unreadable as Blake (well, to strangers at least, Yang could read her partner like a book), but there was no denying the slight sing-song in her voice as she announced the fights for the week.

"I'm really happy you managed to fit _Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee_ in, buuuut I might be a _teeny_ bit biased about that."

A pained groan sounded from Weiss as Ruby giggled at both her own statement and her partner's reaction to it; the team attacks- and their names- had only grown arms and legs as the sisters had realised they could just make up puns and then fit an attack to it later. Much to the well documented dismay of their respective partners, although they secretly kind of liked them, as the moves tended to be very convoluted in order to fit the "theme".

Ren took the moment of quiet as an opportunity to speak.

"Personally, I thought the bit where you simultaneously tripped Dove while wrapping your weapon around Sky wasinspired Blake."

The faunus smiled sharply and held her hands up to accept the praise.

"What can I say, I have a flair for the dramatic sometimes-" A sarcastically muttered, unsurprisingly ignored, _sometimes?_ came from Weiss' general direction, "Although involving Sky in it was all Yang, I was just expecting her to grab it to trip Dove."

Taking over from her partner she shrugged at them, "Like I always say: well-oiled partnership right here. Plus, I wanted to give you guys a show- can't let Pyrrha be the only showboater here."

The four-time Mistral Tournament Champion looked genuinely affronted at the accusation, a rare expression to cross the usually affable fighter. Many people didn't know that she took any jabs at her fighting style very personally, mainly because it was a rare occasion that afforded someone the opportunity to criticise her. And probably because the brawler was the only one willing to put her muscles where her mouth was.

"I don't showboat!"

Yang scoffed.

"Oh no, _of_ _course_ you don't. That spear neck spinning thing you do isn't just because it makes you looks badass? And you just _have_ to throw away your shield at the end of a fight- a fight that you've spent the whole time breakdancing your way through no sweat bee-tee-dubs- so you can suplex a dude. That's what everyone does, am I right?"

"I'll have you know that is a legitimate tournament move."

The blonde cocked an eyebrow at that.

"A legitimate tournament move… for show-offs?"

Jaune (putting his mandatory "How To Be Good Team Leader 101, Part 7: Conflict Management" lessons to good use for once) jumped in before there could be any more words exchanged by the pair. Or fists. The sparring matches between the two were legendary amongst the other students, what with Yang being the number one hand to hand combat student in the school and Pyrrha being, well, Pyrrha.

"Well, we all knew you had it in you, I gotta say you guys work really well together."

The partnership in question puffed up slightly, Blake would never admit it out loud but she was very susceptible to compliments. Yang had noticed though; her partner didn't hide it very well and she _had_ always been more perceptive than people gave her credit for. It was nice to see her come more and more out of her shell, since she had been less than interested in making friends at the beginning.

Too bad she got partnered with Yang. If she had wanted a quiet time at Beacon she should have picked her partner more carefully- oh _yeah_ , Yang knew all about the partner picking shenanigans that went on in initiation. Blake _did_ eventually admit to it, but she had known the whole time. _Totally_. She threw an arm around her best friend's shoulder and smirked.

"That's just the sort of excellent team work we here on Team RWBY pride ourselves on, although I suppose being Beacon's top partnership has _a little_ bit to do with it."

That set the rest of them off, so, _so_ predictably. The table descended into the well-trod discussion ( _argument_ ) that not even Ren could remain above, as his partner brought him in to explain a very complicated move they ( _Nora_ ) had thought of involving a lot of electricity.

A nudge from her side brought her attention to the girl next to her, for once neglecting her book to watch the live entertainment in front of her. As Blake leant in to mutter her observations Yang realised that the room either suddenly gotten warmer or she really needed to get a grip; she prayed for the former and ignored the tiny voice saying it was obviously the latter.

"You shouldn't rile them up like that, one of these days it's going to get messy and it'll be all your fault."

An exaggerated gasp was the first response to the _heinous_ accusation.

"You wound me Blake, truly, deeply. And could anything be messier than the food fight? Which I suppose was _partly_ my fault."

Let it never be said that Yang Xiao Long didn't own up to her mistakes.

"Partly?" An eyebrow was arched, "Okay then, if that's what you want to believe. The goodwill we earned from absolutely _destroying_ CRDL won't last long if we make Goodwitch clean up after us again; unless they're up for round two, of course."

The pair shared a smirk.

"I love it when you're cocky. Anyway, Goodwitch likes you, I'm raised in her esteem simply by being your partner." A snort indicated exactly what Blake thought of that. "At least you said _we_ , I'm glad to know that _you_ know you're stuck with me through my poor life choices- not planning on getting rid of me anytime soon?"

Blake smirked at that, eyes sparkling with mischief, and shrugged.

"What can I say, you're good for a fun time. You keep me on my toes- and keep my life exciting."

Inside, Yang knew it was slightly pathetic to get so excited, at the thought of someone sticking around for a while, but it had always been one of her weaknesses. Trying not to show a reaction to her partner's casual assurances that she wasn't going to drop out of her life she rolled her eyes and dialled up the sarcasm.

"I'm _so_ glad I help you get your kicks somewhere, Hunting is just such a boring and safe career, wouldn't want you resorting to drastic measures or anything."

Blake's laugh had quickly become one of her favourite sounds on Remnant and she would do anything she could do to draw it out as much as she could. Luckily, their senses of humour (barring her disappointing lack of enthusiasm for puns) meshed well, with both being fluent in sarcasm and enjoying the occasional dark joke to top it off. As her giggling died down she caught Yang's lingering stare and cocked her head.

"What?"

Suddenly self-conscious, the blonde ducked her head, laughing nervously while trying to think up a better reason than ' _I find you ridiculously attractive and your laugh isn't helping things_ '.

"Uh, nothing, just lost in thought." The oldest excuse in the book and one that Blake would not let her get away with ever, and not let her away with it she did.

"About what?"

Yang lifted her head back up with a grin.

"About how I'm happy you totally bent the rules and picked me as your partner, enough to give a gal an ego, y'know?"

Tension broken, quick and simple; this wasn't Yang's first rodeo. Not by a depressingly long shot.

A quick, playful shove from Blake, one that usually wouldn't budge the brawler an inch, unbalanced her enough to knock her into her sister and almost push Weiss off the end of the bench. Her scathing glare was missed by her teammates: Ruby because she was desperately trying to salvage her cookie from her milk and Blake and Yang because they were busy having a silent conversation. Team JNPR once again found themselves staring in confusion at the team they'd chosen to befriend.

Yang cut off the start of Blake's worried questioning with her own explanation.

"I think I'm just tired, if Blake's weedy arms can push me over," Another hit, " _Ow, it's a joke,_ probably time for us to head off, I have some R&R that is just _calling_ to me right now."

A fair excuse, one easily accepted by the concerned girl, they had, after all, had a relatively strenuous morning. Yang wouldn't go as far to say anything more. The rest of the table quickly agreed with the motion to leave, Blake and Yang already standing up to go while Weiss slipped out her end of the table, leaving Ruby to scarf down her last cookie and chug her milk to keep up with her team.

"See you guysh later!"

As the group of girls left the cafeteria, planning their afternoons' off that would inevitably end in varying levels of successful relaxation, Jaune couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

"Pyrrha?"

The girl in question turned to her partner.

"Yes Jaune?"

"Was there something we were supposed to mention to Yang and Blake?"

The redhead pondered the question for a moment before answering.

"Not that I can remember, no."

"Hmm, I just have the oddest feeling that we're forgetting something."

They were.


	3. Chapter 3

_Library: Later that afternoon_

Beacon's library was massive, containing books concerning everything from rare Grimm to Remnants complicated political systems to especially rare volumes of historical texts. And if there so happened to be a large collection of Blake's favourite… fantasy… series then that could only improve her opinion of the fine library.

Team RWBY was a team whose continual survival relied on systems, there were multiple systems in place for many possible situations, feasible or otherwise. It was kind of a necessity for four girls to co-exist peacefully, without major injuries (or death) occurring and cutting a few letters from their name. Ruby's "Team Leader Executive Orders" covered everything from important things like shower times to small things (in Blake's opinion) like "When it's not appropriate to borrow your teammate's very expensive conditioner, _Weiss_."

("I'm a platinum blonde, _Yang,_ yours is the only one sensitive enough for my hair."

The entitlement in filling her voice was only matched by the venom in her opponent's.

"You're also filthy stinking rich, _buy your own._ "

Eventually Ruby and Blake had to step in to deescalate the situation before they ended up having a very humid room for the rest of the day like the last time the two had got into an argument. Fire and ice make for very uncomfortable room conditions.)

There was a post-fight system too. Blake picked the library as her own little victory celebration- Yang had picked the gym, although more out of inevitability than anything else. The way her semblance worked, while extremely useful in a fight, had the unfortunate side effect of not always draining itself of energy once the fight was over; especially if the fight was… _as unsatisfying_ … as the one against CRDL. This had been discovered, much to Blake's enduring hilarity, by Team RWBY's door after the exuberant brawler had unwittingly snapped it in two trying to open it. Her partner's shocked face coupled with the handle and half the door held in her hand was one of her favourite memories of Beacon so far.

Until Weiss started yelling of course.

To avoid future mishaps, it was now required by Team Leader Executive Order 10 (if Blake remembered correctly, there was a definitely a list somewhere) that Yang had to completely deplete the excess energy from her semblance after a fight.

Never one to pass up on an opportunity, Weiss made sure to add in her own points to the post fight relaxation requirements- leading Blake and Ruby to also chip in with their ideas too.

The library was the perfect place to spend her team mandated two hours of post-match relaxation. The White Fang had never been the literary types, much to her dismay and if she was being completely honest it was on the (long) list of reasons she left.

After the murder, terrorism, grand theft and fanaticism of course. But it was still on the list. Somewhere near the bottom, final nail in the coffin and all that. You have to draw the line somewhere.

It was nice to finally have a team that indulged her reading sessions. No distractions, no games, no homework, no arguments, no teammates; just books.

And that's how it went for the first hour, as she sat tucked into her favourite snug corner of the library- the nook by one of the windows that let the sun stream in during warm afternoons like this one- happily finding out who was getting together in the latest book of her favourite saga. (She was rooting for the quick talking thief to _finally_ get her shit together and tell the flirty fighter that her feelings were reciprocated.)

She would have managed to find out too- had she not felt the uncomfortable warmth of someone watching her; a quick look around didn't reveal anyone staring. The nearest tables were empty, exactly as she wanted them, but the unnerving feeling of being watched did not die as she had hoped, leaving her to try and settle back down with her book and ignore her gut. That didn't work, as she sat on high alert rather than concentrating on the unravelling love story she had _specifically_ picked out to read today. Whoever was behind the disruption was in for a world of pain.

For once her faunus heritage was a boon as she focussed in on a rustling sound coming from behind a nearby bookshelf. It took no effort at all to slink around the other end of the row, the poor boy couldn't even hear her approach, his head buried so deep in the book in a futile attempt to hide his face from her. A book that was upside down, offering no educational value, even if he had been seriously interested in… the minutiae of Faunus-Human Relations in Business.

Which she doubted. Quite a lot. It would take a lot more in the

"Hello Russell, taking an extracurricular in stalking now are we?"

He jumped at least a foot in the air, which could have been part of his semblance for all Blake knew, she had never managed to see it in action and the semblances of idiots like him didn't really concern her.

"Uh-"

The pure saccharine tone of her voice surprised even herself.

"If you wanted me to teach you what is looks like when a Faunus is unhappy with you, I'll give you a hint," she pulled a grumpy face, "Exactly like this. However, if you wanted me to beat you up again I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until the opportunity comes back up in class, the five minutes it took me this morning was… how should I put this?"

A sharp grin came across her face.

" _Immensely_ _unsatisfying_. Now if you have anything left to say please, do it now, some of us have actually important things to do."

That seemed to kick him back into gear, as the scared look on his face was replaced with another, an expression unfamiliar to Blake.

"I, uh, was uh, just wanting to know- I mean, ask you if you wanted to hang out sometime or something y'know?"

To put it mildly, Blake was stunned. Dumbstruck. Frozen. The words that haltingly tumbled out of Russell's mouth technically did make sense, but their actual meaning in the context of the world and everything, did _not_. In fact, they made so little sense that it took almost a full minute for her to awaken from her stupor to sputter out an answer to the, admittedly patient, boy waiting in front of her.

"Uh, no, Russel, _no_ \- I don't know why you thought- definitely no. Bye."

Contrary to popular rumour, Blake was not the target of many date offers and the ones that did occur tended to be telegraphed correctly enough that she had the benefit of being able to consider her options. She had _never_ beencaught off guard. Even if she wasn't living with the complicated feelings towards a certain someone, which was… perhaps… preoccupying her mind more than she thought it was…

 _No_. No. There's no way she could have possibly predicted _Russell_ hitting on her, let alone having a prepared answer for him. No way at all.

 _Team RWBY's Dorm: That Evening_

Blake walked back into her room in an odd state of shock, she didn't quite remember the journey from the library, only that she did eventually manage to make it to her room.

"Yang, I just had the weirdest encounter-"

Said teammate stopped in the middle of getting changed, clearly just out of the shower and wearing only shorts and a bra.

"I don't know Blake, it's gonna be really tough to top mine-"

And then without pausing, not even to put on an actual top to cover up the frankly ridiculously distracting sight of her six pack, she launched into her story.

"-because I actually feel a little bit dirty after it. I'm pretty sure I'd still feel like this even if I'd just been watching it, never mind being a part of it. Cardin, Cardin 'Douchebag' Winchester, had the absolute fucking nerve-the gall!- to come up to me today, after the gym, swaggering like I hadn't been two punches away from compacting his face this morning and say:" Her voice dropped into what was probably her impression of a caveman, " _You know, you're really hot Xiao Long, like definitely in the top tier here and that's saying something. So how about you let me take you out somewhere and show you a good time._ "

Yang shuddered, "Talk about fucking creepy, I thought he would have had something else in his chat up line armoury, other than saying I was ' _top tier_ '. Urgh, thanks dude, I already knew it but being validated by a man really makes it real to me."

As if realising she'd maybe gone slightly off track, Yang acknowledged her now frozen partner.

"So," returning to her usual jovial demeanour, "What's your weird encounter?"

Blake was stunned.

No way.

No _fucking_ way was Cardin hitting on Yang.

No _fucking_ way was Russell randomly into her now at the same time.

This was too big of a coincidence.

Someone _had_ to be messing with them.

 _Port's Class: The Next Morning_

If it had ever been a thought in their mind that _maybe_ the Russell and Cardin incidents could be brushed off as some weird prank that didn't quite land right, the next morning proved that it wasn't just a fever dream.

As usual, Ruby had rounded up her team, munching on cookie as a pre-breakfast snack while trying to herd them out their dorm in a manner almost passing as prompt and efficient. (That would be of course, if an observer had not witnessed the many trial runs and threats it had taken perfect Team RWBY's _now_ efficient morning routine.) As usual, the team had meandered their way to a variety of appropriate breakfast foods with Weiss and Blake being course corrected by their partners to avoid collisions, both too engrossed in the news and a book to bother with trivial matters such as walking. And, as usual, they sat opposite Team JNPR and, as usual, they listened to Nora's new ( _old_ ) dream about her and Ren eating pancakes ( _it was cake this time_ ), dragging out the time before begrudgingly heading towards their first class of the day.

"Whoever scheduled Port's class first thing in the morning is gonna get a talking to from Ember Celica," the ominous glint from Yang's weapons giving more weight to her statement. A weight that tended to worry her teammates; they knew she was only kidding, _mostly_. And they could sympathise with her, at its very best Port's class offered little more than interesting stories broken up with occasional practical demonstrations and at its worst… _well_ male ego trip down memory lane could easily describe those lessons.

Ruby didn't really enjoy his classes and could see Yang's point. The only thing that got them through most of the lessons was their long running shared notes which had deviated from its original purpose into a long form and indepth history of their boredom throughout said lessons. Yet in this lesson Yang, the main contributor of non-class related discussion, was oddly quiet and Blake, who usually attempted to take some form of notes until the Port exaggeration got too out of hand, wasn't dropping her snarky asides at all. In fact, they both seemed a bit zoned out, something that continued all the way to the end of the class.

Until something hit Blake on the back of the head.

While usually something like that wouldn't have phased her big sister, _much_ , the strange mood they black and yellow pair was in had left them with zero tolerance for being messed with.

"Okay whoever just did that is going to be the one getting a talking to from Ember Celica!"

Both of them had spun around quicker than anyone could blink, fists clenched and faces looking… murder-y, if Ruby had to describe the expressions. Blake bent down to pick up what could now be recognised as a, slightly bent from the impact, paper plane. The team looked from the offending piece of paper up to where it came from and found a sight that made their collective jaws drop.

The two least interesting members of CRDL- Dove and Sky- were standing behind them, holding a motley collection of drooping flowers and a small, pathetic sign that was clearly, tragically homemade with the single word- _Date?_ \- scribbled on it.

Blake was the first one to react with a muted, but forceful, "No." Her partner, was as usual, the more explosive one of the two.

"What the actual _fuck_ made you think asking us during class would be a good idea? Did our rejection of your equally scummy teammates not give you any hints? Actually, clearly not, clearly your one shared and functioning brain cells was taking a holiday from the endless and thankless task it is to keep you all alive."

Naturally, when faced with the sizzling rage of a girl who decked you just the day prior, the pair of boys did look a tiny bit scared. Still, not scared enough for Sky to keep his mouth shut.

"So, if we'd asked you somewhere else would you have said yes?"

Ruby winced in unison with Weiss' face palm, the poor boy actually sounded hopeful, how could someone be so dense?

" _Fuck no!"_

Apparently, they were not the only partnership in sync on this very weird morning. A morning that could apparently get worse, since Port decided to chime in as he arrived back from whatever fake memory lane he had wandered off down.

"Language girls."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say to an already fuming Yang.

" _Excuse me?_ Are we getting done for bad language when they're up there distracting the class with their dumb, half-assed attempt to ask us out?"

With any other teacher, Yang might have got into some bother but not with Port, who simply chuckled off the retort.

"Haha, they're just boys being boys, _ah,_ to be young again," Ruby rolled her eyes, of course he would use this to reminisce, "It was a time for adventure, where anything could happen, fights, journeys, romance-"

Thankfully, the story of Port's childhood "adventures" would not be inflicted on the class- especially not team RWBY, who bolted from the room as soon as was humanly possible. Maybe slightly faster in Ruby's case, as she left a trail of petals in her wake before spinning to meet her teammates.

"Honestly? I didn't think Port's class could get _any_ worse, but _yet_ , here we are: rock bottom."

"Usually I try not to be too disparaging of professors, but yes, I agree, that was terrible."

"I think I need a shower."

Yang spun on her heel and grabbed her partner by the shoulders.

"Blake, forget showering, we need to do something about this. _Immediately_."


End file.
